Ancient Chinese Torture
Submitted by Anon
A naija man found himself lost and wandering in a forest. After a few hours
trying to find his way, he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door
and was greeted by an old Chinese man with a long, grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much
as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the naija man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, stunningly
beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the
naija man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering
the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
But during the night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room
for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old
man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read,
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man
can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up,
walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed
another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting
close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones were better than castration,
he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he
saw a large sign on the ground that read;
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
Top of Page
Guides
Channels
