My Broda,
Kedu kwanu? How dey go dey go? I hope sey bodi dey inside cloth.
Before I efen sey eniting I wan tank you for the lottery nomba wey you
play for me wey come enta so... God go dey continue to butter yua
bread.Amen.
Nna bros YANKEE SWEET O!chei! Efen me sef wey dey follow Uncle Brutus,
wife and three pikins share two bedroom face-to-face for Oshodi sef come
get my own room and parlor wey come wit im own iakondishona and the
latrine dey inside am, no be for backyard! I no lie.
My broda as I don land here now three months and I never take my
korokoro eye see ONE SINGU AGBEPO! Only problem be sey obiomah patrol and
cornerstreet mallam no dey, oyibo kaikai no shack like we own and dem get
sontin like encroachment law wey no gree nobodi sell sontin for doormot.
Dem no ask me to pay two year rent before I enta am sef and one akata
fren wey I get tell me sey if I see bill dat mean sey na otomatik 30 more
days before I pay am.
Nepa neffa take light for here and when I enta my
fren house I see sey im cockroaches no dey fly like we own for naija!
You go talk sey I lie if I tell you sey moskito no dey bite for here and when
God pour white sand for outside people no dey go work.
Plus I get nice neighbor wey carry flit give me the firs time I
cook my Okporoko.
See? Dat Emeka too dey lie! Remember when im come tell
us sey Merika no get culture? Before I forget make I nak you tori of
wetin happen when I firs land for here sef.
Nna E be like sey oyibo olopa sef recognize sey my papa na Chief for fillage as when I reach here dem begin call me 'sir, sir'.
Dem infite me inside dem VIP room and efen dem oga carry nkita come greet me too. I no understand wetin dem dey talk but E be like sey dem dey try ask wetin I bring come for dem.... no big deal as MoPo sef dey take bribe abi?
Well,since dem no like yellow garri dem close my portmanteau back but dem nkita begin bark for the bag wey one Alhaja sey make I hold for am from Ikeja.
Weda na fried ponmo dey inside wey the dog wan chop I no know but dem carry the bag commot go give am. Dem return na come begin ask me weda I sabi wetin dey inside bag and I say I
know no, but becos dem train me well for house, I help elder Alhaja hold bag when E talk sey hand dey pain am but I no see am before I enta plane from Lagos.
Dem come dey look me like sey na lie.
I tell dem sey if not make dem halla for outside see weda Nkechi dey there as she sey she go come carry me for iapot.
Small time she enta and ol boy Nkechi don shenj O! CHEI!
I tell you sey efen do na awa cozin she be but you for marry am O! Wetin? Una get the same lass name? Eniwe, after she enta na she come begin follo dem blow big grammar! I read am for book sey Chief Orozuru go Cambridge and I don see am make speech before but im grammar and Nkechi own no be classmate! Nnaaaaa, before you go sey PAKI we don dey commot for there reach outside.
Man mi if eniting go poshu me back to Gidi na this cold O!ol boy, the kin cold wey dem get for here im and harmattan no dey the same katigori! If I talk smoke dey commot for my mouth.. no be lie O! If na Lagos I for take dat trick make oni.
Eniwe Nkechi dey treat me well well and na she help me get big job for oyibo canteen wey get big 'M' for doormot. If you see me dey cook oyibo food now you no go belif ya eye O! Nwannem nex time you see me and I ask for milk shake abeg no wiggle Peak Milk can for my face O!
I dey wait make I learn to drive moto as Brutus no dey gree me touch im Fiat except when I wash am.
How efribodi for una area? Dat Chukwudi don cool down abi im still dey beat up anoda pesin pikin? Mama Rasaki husband don gree am come back? No talk sey I dey do Amebo but im
no wan gree am back becos of Ngozi... you know sey she don finish sewing school and she no be small pikin again. Efen me sef before I come when I follow am play the kin play wey we dey play before she grow she go begin look me sonhow dey sey make I watch where my hand dey go... I no know o!
Before I forget my goat don born? Ol boy no sell im pikin cheap O, you know sey na bitter leaf I dey give am no be leftover spinach.
I no wan stop but 3 don dey nak and na 3:14 my bus dey come. I go send you my
piksho when I snap am.... Nkechi convince me make I commot my byahbyah becos woman for here no go like am, na im be sey I go try grow am back before I come home again.
Greet Mama Put for me hear? Tell am sey I no forget the credit wey I chop and when I see sombodi wey dey go Naija I go send am im money.. abi you fit help me pay am?
My broda abeg take care of efriting and no forget to write me O! Tell Mama sey Nkechi dey take care of me well well.
Na me yua broda
Boniface.
Submitted by Manny Osifo
Top of Page
Guides
Channels