My people, na Me, Pa Jeremaya, again O!
As I don dey for this obodo
yankee wey I dey so, I don notice difference dey between marrying Akata,
and marrying naija woman.....after wey I don weigh efriting, Oloun, na
Naija all the way meeeen...make I tell una why.
These are the top ten reasons why man no fit carry Akata put for house:
10. If una joke with naija woman sey you wan marry second wife put for
house because you get complaint sey her okro no dey slide again, she go
wave you off becos she know sey dat na joke,..but if you tell akata dat
one, she go use dat one sentence wey man dey hate:'Where you think you
at, Africa?'
9. If you carry ya wife go Naija, and mosquito bite am, if na naija, she
go know sey na 'Welcome Home' sign be dat, but Akata go tell you say:
'Maaaaaan, this is Bulls**t!'
8. When una dey for naija, village people no go wan hear the difference
sey na Akata , the only thing dem go dey talk about for the next six
months be say you carry wife come and the wife dey extend hand wan shake
ya granpapa instead of make she kneel down! (No room for error in that
department!)
7. If you get argument with naija woman and she vex for you, the most
she
fit threaten you with na sey:'I GO PACK COMMOT FOR HERE GO MY PAPA
HOUSE!', but if na Akata threaten you, she go say "YOU'LL BE ON THE
BOAT BACK QUICKER THAN I CAN BLINK!'....eyin people, dat no be joking
mata O!
6. Unlike Akata, Naija woman go understand sey if we troway party and
people come dey spray money, dat no mean wey we go do am
every month for extra income!
5. If I marry Akata and we come born pikin, yawa go bust if she wan gi
my
pikin name wey no get meaning like Tyrone, G-money,or Shakwanna
Or Besides, she sef fit get problem with names like Kolawole,Gbolahan,
Omokorede or Efunsetan...If I win the name battle sef, she fit because
she not sabi pronounce pikin name dey call am 'Yo!'
4. If you vex naija woman , get SERIOUS 'argumentation', and then you
come turn around ask am for favor, if she no go do am, the most she go
do na to do im eyelids up and down like sey you dey pull electric switch
'ON' and 'OFF' 7 times,roll im eyes, hiss the kin hiss wey go last like
20 seconds , make U-turn waka comot!.., but if na Akata, the only thing
you go hear na:'KISS MY BLACK **S!'
3. If you get pikin and you wan feed am Amala (ancestral delicacy,
yummy!)
with
egusi or okro soup, the only thing naija woman go tell you be say make
you
make sure say E no dey too hot,....but Akata go look in amazement as the
elubo turn from White to Black, and any attempt to feed the pikin dat go
receive:
'I KNOW you sure ain't trying to feed him THAT s**t!'...(I tell you, man
no
wan make na soso barbeque chicken pikin go dey chop O!)
2. I don't want to risk being with someone who's gonna be trying to
crack
'mama jokes' while my folks are within 5 yards of an earshot......'Hey,
Pa,
yo mama's so...OUCH!'
and , the number one reason......is.....
Hey fellas, I 'm sure say una don go bar
(some call it the strip joint) wey Akata go dey dance dey shake yansh (we
call it 'The Bounce') and she go think sey she dey do sontin,..but I tell
you, dem
need to come serious naija 'Alagbada' come see how to shake
yansh! I swear, I don see naija babes (bota or no bota) gbon dat IDI and
the
speed was in the neighborhood of 8000 rpms!
Now, how man go see that kin
heritage come go carry Akata for house? Akata koo, Okete nii!
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