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The opening line allegedly was made by General Yakubu Gowon in the height of the first oil boom of... (0) Comment

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Nigeria: A committee of the (w)hole
Author: Wakdok,Samuel Stephen | February 20, 2012

This is a country where we may wake up to have more committees than the number of people living in it. We do everything in committees, if only the results are always laudable and commiserate with the amount of resources expended on the committees. A committee is needed to set up a committee, another committee is needed to monitor the committee, a committee is used to review and appraise a committee, and a committee is used to wind up another committee. Hence everything is in committee with committee as the terms of reference, with committees as the reason for setting up the committees, and committees as results of the committees. All we see as output for the energy, time, resources and space spent on setting up committees are committees. People marry in and through committees, i.e. committee of friends or the church committee to screen intending couples, or the village/ customary committee to slam the dowry and collect the bride price. At birth, women give birth in committee called ante natal or when the nurses round around in committees shouting push--- push. Of course the new born child is welcome by committee of older women who throw it up at bathing time and during naming ceremony and now a church committee during dedication. If she is lucky not to be a boy will escape the circumcision, unless where female genital mutilation is in force. People live in committee popularly called face me- I -face you compound and quarrel in committees especially for families with numerous children. At âmama putâ another committee is present early in the morning and another late in the evening either at mai shayi/suya joint or beer parlours. People commute in committees called Danfo, Molue or keke Napep and also get thrown into the gutters, ditches and rivers in committees by committees of reckless drivers. Students read and hunger in committees only to be awarded with extra years by committees of ASUU, NASU, SSANU and FGN or States as applicable. Patients die in committees killed by Committees of medical doctors, nurses, health workers or government. We are exploited by a committee called the political class whose only mandate is corruption and power struggle. Our resources are plundered by a committee of past and present rulers whose only result in massive investment in committees has led to committees to probe committees which probed previous committees. A committee is set up by a cabal to turn our oil boom to doom, our wealth to poverty, and our infrastructure to decay; only for the committee which plundered us to set up a committee to reinvest our woes. Then another committee is set up to task force a committee that is set up due to the failure of committees of ministries, departments and agencies.The lie to us in committees, steal in committees allow us to be killed by committees of terrorists and criminals and then set up committees to investigate both the remote and immediate causes which of course are failed committees. PHCN gives us black out in committees of outage and mismanagement of resources, only to be probed by a committee which itself is indicted by another committee. People are unemployed or under employed in committees, many more who think they are employed are only disguisedly unemployed in committees and the employers exploit their labour force in committees. Journalists cum social critics write and lament in committees only for them to join the corrupt governments in committees, eat their shares in committees and surely get disgraced out in committees. The National Assembly loots in committees while the executive loots in committee of individuals or individuals in committees. Committees of landlords and agents are profiteering from high rents and land speculation turning millions into squatters and tenants with overburdened rents. Elections are rigged in committees; the land is besieged with committees of violence, hunger, stealing, lies, nepotism, misinformation, and many other vices. Human beings kill themselves in committees of religions and now habitats are settling in committees of Christians, Moslems. Committees of homosexuals and lesbians also have come to the fore demanding for universal rights. Yet, members of the committees smile to the banks whether money banks or blood banks with their dirty antics to perpetuate the government of the committee by the committee for the committee which benefits only members of the respective committees. As the committees thrive, the people suffer; as these committees reproduce the people demise. Persons who once walked in committees of the bare footed now wear shoes to trample us in committees while people who once defended the poor in committees of the pen are using the same pen to propagate lies in committees. The committee of the whole has put us all into the committee of the hole where bombings, killings, kidnappings, rapes, fundamentalism, theft, bunkering, smuggling and corruption have become the norm rather than exception. Nigerians are now been buried in committees of mass graves, may God send a true committee of the righteous to rescue us as a whole out of this hole. Amen.

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