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Laifi'n babba, rowa, laiii'n yaro, kiwuya. (The boy complains that his master is stingy,... (0) Comment



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Association Of Bodes And Georges Of Nigeria—Membership Forms Selling
Author: Prince Charles Dickson | November 02, 2009



I had written an essay some years back when Tafa Balogun was convicted and it was titled “When I Grow Up: On Tafa Balogun Former Inspector-General Of Police, Nigeria Is Sick”. Indeed still years down the road very little has changed, infact it only has got worse. Corruption can be sweet, Bode George has as at the time i write this 1.4 milion entries on Google and still counting. It is not enough for gardeners to love flowers they must hate weeds- the annoying bass of a mosquitoes by the ear cannot be ignored. When I grow up I want to be a thief, and I want to steal in Nigeria, if I succeed in fulfilling this dream, I also would like to be a Governor or at least a government functionary, that way I never will be caught, I would steal enough to last over ten generations of my family even to the twentieth one and they would not have to work, how much more suffer. I would have mentors like Ibori, Lucky, Tafa, Obasanjo, Saminu, Nnamani, Orji Kalu and coâ€Â¦just some hazzles and I will go free. However if I disobey the 11th commandment “thou shall not be caught”. I can be rest assured of one form of immunity or the other. If the government takes a strong exception to my case I probably would spend some couple of sixty something days in detention, I would feign being maltreated, fall from the car conveying me to and fro the court. I will stall trial, plead innocent initially, and then request for bail. That was Tafa’s case, in Bode’s case I‘ll get some two years for fleecing state coffers of some N80B plus. Let us not forget because I have stolen enough money I would be able to afford solid lawyers and also pay news hounds that would make a PR stunt out of my every move to my benefit. I shall exploit the fact that everybody that is a leader in my country is a thief to the maximum and steals. Infact in no time you will be hearing ‘Free Bode George Now’, people will start saying I fell out with the powers that be and being ‘scapegoated’. So I could threaten to spill the beans like Tafa did or appeal as Bode has doneâ€Â¦ After all this shakara I shall get a sentence of six months for stealing billions of Naira. Six months, just six months for impoverishing some millions of Nigerians. The sitting Judge would give me a light sentence, besides just for even daring give me any form of sentencing he will be hailed. During Tafa he got six months sentence because he had been of good behaviour, shown enough remorse and come to think of it he was a first time offender. He had stolen enough, returned enough too, and left with enough to guarantee a lifetime of luxury after a mere six months of inconvenience. Bode George while measuring for his prison uniform also was filing his appeal paper. I‘ll refuse to eat prison food like Bode too, and then let us not forget the welcome party by the likes of Al-mustapha for me. Do not forget that I would have in the process of stealing acquired the best of cars, built heaven on earth as houses; I would have acquired chieftaincy titles from several poor communities for dashing few coins here and there. The same government that I stole from, the same government that we partnered in crime would have given me a national award. Wonders never will end in such a nation so why trade citizenship for another. Tell me why won’t I be proud to be a Nigerian when I grow up? I can piss on the main road, throw toiletries out of my window, and spit out of my car while drivingâ€Â¦I can swear at another driver in my language and expect the person to smile at me or curse me back either way each of us would not understand each other. If there happens to be an accident in the process rather than accept responsibilityâ€Â¦you would hear the phrase “do you know whom I am” from one of us, especially the guilty person. Leave storyâ€Â¦! This is just the periphery; I would be a Nigerian and grow up to beâ€Â¦because if I plan well I could be a President who was an ex-convict, who rigged an election. Get overdraft, loans and what not and not bother about paying. When I grow up I want to be a Nigerian because I will and can evade tax, climb electricity poles myself to reconnect power, I can get poor touts and area boys and dan whatever to cause havoc when I am loosing to my political opponents. I would not trade this ambition to be Nigerian and a thief for any other life. I love my nation because as a criminal I would be celebrated. Millions and billions allocated for projects would disappear just like a BIG plane disappeared and two SHIPS vamoosed and we shall with the stolen loot hold owambe parties with Sunny Ade, Oliver de Coke, fanta and Dan Maraya Bauchi playing and us spraying dollars and pounds to the jealousy of Obama, Gordon Brown and co. despite the depression. My fellow citizens would be dying of malaria, while I would be smiling as my Spanish doctor would be massaging my buttocks and my wife would be preparing for her breast lift immediately I am back. I would proudly tell my fellow thieves in discuss that my kids are citizens of another country because we would have destroyed our own nation that we will know that it is unfit for our kids. Strange things have been on the increase at, a per second rate, if a governor is does not jump bail, thanksgiving services would be held for thieves and politicians that steal are decorated with national awards. We would produce more crude oil and suffer fuel queues, deregulate, regulate, infiltrate and strangulate the massesâ€Â¦ How on earth Tafa Balogun gets six months jail for his atrocities, what do we classify as good behaviour, show of remorseâ€Â¦? A man who stole billions on first attempt must be a Nigerian, which is why when I grow upâ€Â¦because no one bothers the effect this has on unemployed graduates whether half or fully baked. I would be a Nigerian and also be a patron of the ABGNâ€Â¦Association of Bodes Georges of Nigeria. Then we are treated to another Bodecious and Georgean judgementâ€Â¦he was not asked to refund the money, infact his lawyer said he was being punished for doing the right thing wrongly. The equation then becomes the more I steal the less I will suffer the less I steal the more I will suffer, Nigerian “pytalooting theorem” (the theory of class looting). I would grow up in a nation with merged banks that may still have collapsed if not Sanusi stormâ€Â¦probably Universities would have merged with Polytechnics or acquired State Universities. That’s if we have not sold them to ourselves i.e ‘Association of Bodes And Georges’. Why risk being a Londoner or Americana and bother about social security when I can steal direct from source and the best the law can do is give me some paltry strokes of the cane. In my Nigeria it would be fun in party politics because as the music plays we develop a dance step, so today it may be PDP, tomorrow ANPP and then AC. That is why Buhari, Atiku and Bafara will dine with Utomi and Falae in the name of saving us. We are running the risk of neglecting the annoying bass of anomaly in our nation as our leaders are stealing us mad and getting a pat on the backâ€Â¦to spend the remaining part of the stolen moneyâ€Â¦ Nigerians are not fools we will and soon revolt. Pretending to hate corruption yet breeding it will not take us anywhere; you do not give the corruption of Bode’s magnitude some two years massage. At this rate when our kids grow up we should not be scared of what we shall see. Meanwhile, forms are selling for the Association Of Bodes And Georges Of Nigeriaâ€Â¦ By Prince Charles Dickson. Kirikiri , Lagos

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NGEX welcomes and encourages reader comments. Permission to post reader comments is assumed, and we reserve the right to excerpt or edit for clarity any comments that are posted. We won't be able to publish all comments. And we can't vouch for the accuracy of posts from readers. Nickname or Name will be used to identify your post.
Dr Buki Morgan MBBS psc    London, United Kingdom    March 06, 2010
I heard it on the grape-vine.
The tariff will be extended the moment Convict Bode George steps out of Kiri-Kiri.
He will be facing charges of Tax evasion on all that loot.

Similar charges are awaiting his brother Olusegun Ikechukwu Obasanjo.


Dr Buki Morgan MBBS psc
Colindale, London & Surulere, Lagos

Posted 07 Mar 2010 0216hrs
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